Ouch! A post...

ME BOB... ME BLOG/SILLY INTRO
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I decided it's about time that I contributed to the blog. Over the last week or two, I have become accustom to telling people (colleagues and strangers mostly) that I blog... That I have a blog. That I am a blogger.
Truthfully I do not blog, never have blogged, and don't know what a blog is.

Maureen on the otherhand has been blogging up a friggin storm.
Turns out that if I tell people that I blog... then I should in fact blog. I shouldn't be making Maureen toil over this nifty site, while I sit back and reap the rewards.


TEACHERS
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My teachers are nice. They speak better English than I do, but that's not saying much...
One teacher in particular has been very helpful; she is like my Korean mother. She's about 4 ft 5, 85 lbs, and has the energy of a hummingbird. She is constantly going out of her way to make my transition to Korea an easy one.

TEACHING
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Lesson planning has been interesting. Coming over to Korea, I was thinking of the adventure aspect, and I kind of forgot that I was here to do a job. With that said, I have been easing myself back into teaching. I have it pretty easy here, I teach conversational English to kids that think I am a national celebrity! Seriously, they crowd around me in disbelief, and expect me to do something spectacular. I just sorta stare back at them, and smile.

FOOD
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Food in Korea is something else. It's hot like lava, and everything has a fishy taste to it. But I don't mind it. Seriously, I don't. The only thing I've eaten that has made my stomach turn was a bowl of caterpillar soup. A colleague bought it for me as a gift. I took a bite of one and it crunched in my mouth.

Can you imagine?
It crunched... in my mouth. Ye-hoo-ewwwww-lll




Hmmm... What else.


MY FIRST IMPRESSION
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Let me tell you about my first (big) misadventure.


Saturday night.

I arrived in Seoul late Saturday night and I was very tired. At this time my co-teacher showed me my apartment, the school I would be teaching at, and the bus route I would be taking to and from school. Seems simple enough, but I was tired, and I wanted to sleep. And so, I got them to write down a few details: bus number, street name, major landmarks, etc.
NOTE: The route I described is a 5 minute busride, or a 30 minute walk.

Sunday.

On Sunday, I looked at the notes my teacher had written for me, and I thought it would be smart if I gave my bus a trial run before the big day. The trial busride worked to a tee. We caught the bus at the bus stop... check. The bus made a left at the Kia dealership... check... We got off at a sign that said Sports Centre... check... I walked up the hill (more like a mountain) and alas... there was my new school! In total, it was not even a 5 minute busride. No worries.


Monday (the big day)

I woke up early. It was pouring buckets outside.

NOTE: If you know me, it's not surprising to note that I did not pack a raincoat or an umbrella. (I thought maybe Maureen would pack two)

A dress shirt would have to suffice. Luckily, getting to my bustop is quick and easy. I walk down my hill, make a right, and - badabing-badaboom - I'm waiting for my bus. And so the story goes.

7:50am.
I'm waiting at my busstop. School starts at 9:00am. No problem.

7:55am
I'm still standing at my busstop.
Where is my bus? Yesterday, bus 03 went by every 2 minutes. What is going on?

8:00am
I am panicking... and getting soaked. Where the hell is the bus?

8:01am
Oh... phewf.
Here comes my bus now.

8:01 am
Why is the bus so packed?

So, I am on my bus. I notice that there are alot more people on the bus today, and each stop, more and more people pile on. Until finally I'm thinking, there are way too many people on this damn bus. To make matters worse, I have to stand up and it is hard to see out the window. To make matters even WORSE, the rain is fogging up the windows. To make matters even WORSE, traffic is immense. We're caught in a massive traffic jam.


8:15 am
So here I am, trapped on this damn bus. I probably should be getting off by now, but the bus has not moved. I am stuck on this damn bus.


8:40 am
Ok, the bus has moved a little, but I have not seen my sign or anything. WTF?
I'm on a bus... cramped to the ceiling... with no idea where I am... With no measurement of time... who farted?

That's it I'm getting off at the next stop.

8:42 am.

The bus has not moved. I hate life.
I look at my watch. I have been on this damn bus for 40 minutes... I should have been there 20 times by now! So I say screw it. Let me off this bus!!!!


MY DAY GETS WORSE
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When I stepped off that bus, I had no idea where I would be. I was hoping, somewhere reasonably close to my school.
When I gathered my bearings, a feeling of dread hit me. You know the one... Like maybe you will get fired, lose your visa, and have to fly back to Canada defeated, type of feeling.
I was standing in front of my house!


8:44am.
I am running.

8:50am.
I am running and panting
I panic. Should I hop back on another bus? Impossible... Traffic is unbearable. I have to run.
It's pouring rain. The streets are crowded with a thousand little Asians. And I am barreling down the street, with my laptop bag, with 20 minutes to get to school.

8:51am.
I don't know where I am. Should I slow down? I am soaking wet. Should I catch a cab? No, it's a traffic jam dammit!
I have no idea where I am going. I've been running for 5 minutes and I have no idea where I am going. I am getting tired, and I have been running way too far, I should have turned by now. I give up and turn back. I'm soaking wet, and I'm the saddest guy with a mullet.

8:55am. I'm as good as late anyways. I will go back to my apartment, take a shower, and take the bus... I have admitted defeat. But wait... I notice a hospital, A LANDMARK I'M FAMILIAR WITH. I make a right. There is hope. I begin to run again.

I run as fast as I can. Past the bakery. Past the Kia building. A right at the Sports Centre sign. Up a mountain. Ok, half-way up the mountain and then I power-walked. And into my school.

9:02am.
I made it. I am only two minutes late. I am soaking wet.
My co-teacher sees me and quickly greets me "JERRY! You made it. You are soaked. Come with me. First we must introduce you to your new principal and you must give a speech".
"Uh, ok" I reply.

I am taken into a dark room. I see a tall Asian man, and he bows to me. I bow back. He shakes my hand, I shake his getting his hand wet in the process.

My teacher introduces me: "Jerry. Meet your new principal"

In broken English he says "Jerthy... Our school... iz appy... to have you"

"Thank you" I respond.

My co-teacher tells me to turn to my right.
I do... and I am staring at a camera. To the right of it, I see myself, and I am on a television screen. Next thing I know, I have a microphone in my hand. I look at my teacher. She is whispering "Jerry... speech... give a speech to the school"
I look back at the TV screen. I smile. My hair is wet and standing up... I look like a goofball. I am a goofball.

I muster up the quickest speech in history, hand the microphone to the principal, and rush out of that situation.

The day improved from there.





Other than that, I don't know what to say. I will keep adding my thoughts and adventures as they come.

-Bob